Thursday, June 20, 2013

“Running to him was real; the way he did it the realest thing he knew. It was all joy and woe, hard as a diamond; it made him weary beyond comprehension. But it also made him free.”


Just a fair warning, there’s about to be a whole lot of real talk going on in this entry so feel free skip to the end if you don’t feel like listening to nostalgia or anything to do with emotions.  Less than 24 hours from now I’ll be stepping into a car heading to NYC to board a plane and start what will most likely be the biggest adventure of my life.  I mean I’m only 22 so a lot could still happen, but as of now this for sure takes the cake! 

Yesterday I finished my last workout on American soil.  I’ve been practicing on my high school track for the past month, and yesterday before getting into my blocks for my last rep I took a second and reflected on how far I’d come.  4 years ago around this time I was a senior at JCB High School in Phoenix, NY.  Small town. Stoplight. Gas Station. And a Draw Bridge. For sure big city living. That year I broke a few school records, made states, and signed my letter of intent to the University of Vermont.  I had had a fairly successful career in high school but honestly nothing spectacular in the grand scheme of things.  I’d never won states, and never made nationals.  I was just a kid who loved running.  Thinking back I’m still amazed I was considered, let alone offered a scholarship, to a Division 1 university. Either way, I was just pumped to still be able to run.  Fast forward through 4 more years. In those 4 years I improved tremendously, broke a few school records, qualified for NCAA’s, and won MVP for my team.  I met and ran with some of the greatest people at UVM. It was for sure a helluva ride! From extreme highs, to extreme lows.  Long bus rides and early morning practice. Battling through injury, and some how graduating with a degree in Civil Engineering, the past 4 years have ruled and I wouldn’t trade the experiences or people for anything.  So as I stood there yesterday all I could do was just smile to myself because I knew that 4 years ago around this time I was doing the same thing and somehow, through everything I’ve done so far in my life, I’d found a way to keep doing it. 

I’m going to be completely honest, over the past month and a half of planning this trip I’ve gone through being extremely frustrated, to crying tears of joy and every sort of emotion in between.  When I had planned this trip back in January, it was made to be an extension for the big plans and goals I had for my final college season.  I didn’t end up achieving those goals or even hitting the successes I had had in years past.  It was by no means a bad season, but its hard to set your sights so high, working so hard and not end up achieving what you wanted.  We’re our own worst critics.  As I would email meet directors, it became very disheartening to be told “you’re not fast enough” or to be completely ignored.  Especially knowing that if I had hit my goals I most likely wouldn’t have those problems.  At the same time as I would tell people my plans and watch them get excited for me, on the inside I had some doubt.  Part of me felt that because I didn’t accomplish what I had set out to do with my senior season that I didn’t, for lack of a better term, deserve to go over and run.  I didn’t qualify for NCAA’s again, never became an All-American, things that most runners who make a trip like this have accomplished.  Even still I continued to train hard and be persistent with my planning and slowly things came into place.  I went from being rejected one night, to being offered a lane at a meet where my accommodations and travel were going to be provided the following day.  It blew my mind. So as I continued to plan, I got into a few more meets and everything took its place.  After writing the last entry, I looked at everything I have planed for this summer and while its been so up and down with planning, its truly turned into more than I ever would have dreamed of.  

As I was cleaning my room yesterday(I may be 22 but I’ve still gotta keep mom happy!) I came across something I hadn’t seen in a while.  I quickly searched for it online and saw it was still there.  Heres the link: 

After re-watching that I thought to my self. Damn. With that hair and those legs(side note Noah I’m pretty sure those are your shorts end side note) how were the chicks not all over me!? But then, as it got to the end I thought to myself that aside from my haircut and size, nothing seems to have changed.  And so last night was the first time I think it finally hit me what I’m about to do.  4 years ago I had an opportunity most high school athletes never get.  And now I have an opportunity that most college athletes never get.  I’ve worked hard to accomplish what I have in my career.  And even through all the ups and downs I’ve never lost the love that I have for running.  It took a while for it to fully hit me, and maybe it hasn’t actually yet, but sometimes we all need to take a step back and look at things in an honest perspective.  

I know this has been super long winded, but as I stood there at the track yesterday smiling I knew that there’s nothing more my 18 year old self would have wanted than for the opportunity to continue doing what I love. And that’s exactly what I’m getting to do. No matter what happens over there this has already been 100% worth it. 

And with that being said I am now currently trying to make sure I have all the little things in place.  My suitcase can only be 44 lbs. How the heck am I supposed to live in Europe for 2 months with only 44lbs worth of stuff! My track bag alone has weighed more than that sometimes!  Looks like I’m leaving quite a bit home. Who needs underwear anyways? I’ll figure it out.  After I finish cleaning and kiss my mom goodbye, I’ll be off!  And on that note. Actually side note.  The Blue Jays have won 11 of their last 13 games.  Can someone say comeback? I’m telling ya. World Series year baby! End side note.  YYAAAAAA  MMMUUULLLLEEEEEE!!!!!!!          

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